We had a wonderful dinner & discussion that night. I think the best part was when she told me she missed talking with me. She lives in a remote mountain area of northern California and doesn't have a lot of social interaction, so no regular Girl's Nights Out, or just hanging out with girlfriends like most 20-somethings do. It did this Mama's heart good that My Baby Girl still wants to talk with me, and that no matter how long we've been apart, we just dig right in. Not that that's always a good thing! *LOL* I could have done without the verbal review of how I failed her in her childhood (some of which I'll give her, some not). But aside from that little rant, we had a great visit.
Right up until it was time for us to part ways again. Then My Baby Girl broke down. Tears flowed. And she said, "I don't want to tell you." Not the usual kid-to-parent, "Don't worry about it." She was withholding from me. All I could do was wrap my arms around her and tell her I love her...and that I'm sorry she's upset...which any mother will tell you, doesn't make the Mama feel a single bit better. No sir! Helpless, yes. Helpful, no. *sighhhhhh*
So what do we middle-agers do with our grown kids?? We can't force them to tell us what's going on in their lives. We can't threaten to take away their iPod if they throw a fit in a restaurant. We can't (at least in my case) follow them half-way across the country and see what's going on. We sure and heck can't pick their friends, boy/girl-friends, etc. And if we try to tell them what to do (even though we know it they would've gotten up 2 hours earlier when we said to get breakfast and start packing, they wouldn't be so frantic now...even if they refuse to admit it. But maybe that's just me.), they just roll their eyes. (Does that ever stop?? *cringe* Uhhhh, maybe I should take this moment to apologize to my Mother, 'cuz I still do this...usually over the phone, though, so it's not so bad, right?) So I watched helplessly as she cried and packed, cried and put her coat on, cried in the taxi, and cried as I hugged her good-bye. Oyyyyyyyyy...no Mama wants to walk away from her child with them in that state. But what's a Mama to do??
Help me out here: Take my poll (at top of right sidebar). I can't say the results will affect how I do it in the future...but maybe it will make me feel less alone in my struggle. *half smile*
Awwwwww. ((hugss))
ReplyDeleteI feel so bad that it 'ended' that way. Poor Hannah, she really must have worked hard at holding whatever it was back. If she didn't have any thoughts about telling you she wouldn't have cried...at all.
I have a 'grown' kid but he still lives at home. So I do have a little control where you have none. We are pretty much where you are right now, just let them be. They will learn. It may be a hard lesson but we've all had them right?! Heck, I still do every so often..
Hope she made it back home alright. Hope you come to peace with what she said and didn't say.
You are good people. I admire you bunches...((hugss)) again